Article written by: Marteleze van Graan
Couples of all sorts have too much sex (or no sex) and forget to mak
e out and to have fun.
In our society sex has become outcome based, how often do you have sex, you need to orgasm every time and how long can you maintain an erection. In this rush to perform, sex has lost the play and fun element. We often forget that sex is a form of physical communication!
First things first!
In order to have sex it is important to create context by sometimes scheduling sex and engaging in activities that awakens or switches on your sexual appetite. Also thinking about sex/fantasies or listening to your favorite song can elicit these feelings.
At times it could be helpful to check in with your partner(s) regarding the emotional closeness or safety of the relationship. This could be looking at how both of you prioritize spending time together and also how vulnerably you can share with your partner what your day-to-day life looks like.It can also include how you and your partner(s) experience being heard and confirmed within the relationship.
Trying to become aware of what your intimacy/sensual and sexual needs are will assist you to become more confident in expressing your needs in an effective way.
“In short being able to communicate what your likes and dislikes are will contribute to the quality of your intimacy/sensual and sexual experience.”
In closing, the challenge would be to talk about your intimacy/sensual/sexual needs with your partner(s) and to start with making small and tangible changes that will meet the needs that you have discussed, something like holding hands or flirty message could be the start you need.
